I love courage. I love her so much I reckon she deserves a capital “C”.
I read lots of books about people who have been in terrifying situations and I absolutely devour their stories of how they tap into Courage at the crucial moment. I also love documentaries where the protagonist is faced with a big decision: do they step up, or not? These people inspire and drive me to be even more courageous – I simply cannot get enough of them!
I realised quite a few years ago that if I didn’t become best friends with Courage, I was most probably going to spend a fair bit of time avoiding situations that scare me. Just like night and day, and yin and yang; fear and Courage are bed mates. They’re in harmony and you can’t have one without the other.
Avoiding fearful situations was always going to be problematic for me. I had a clear vision of what I wanted to achieve. My vision included things such as being the best transformational coach I could be, becoming an international speaker, and being someone who seizes amazing opportunities the moment they arise. I knew that if this was who I wanted to be then I’d definitely need to become BFFs with Courage.
Courage has been really good to me over the last ten or so years. I’m so grateful to her for helping me out along the way because I have done some real fear-inducing stuff! I have walked on hot coals (numerous times), walked on broken glass, jumped out of a plane, and even swum with sharks. In all of these moments I felt so much fear that I had to immediately jump on the blower to my mate Courage and asked her to join me for the ride. She always showed up J
Courage has also helped me in other circumstances – like during the years I held my family together through my mum’s illness and death; the time I faced off with a vicious bully; the times I’ve had really frank conversations that have taken all of my resolve; and that time I asked strangers in the street to buy me things, just so I could learn how good I am at asking. All of these moments took immense Courage and every single time she was there when I needed. Bless her!
Today in Woolworths (of all places) I had an epiphany. I realised that, over time, I have indeed become BFFs with Courage. She is a very dear friend to me, and I recognised in the moment that she was channelling me to call on her. She was standing in the wings saying “Why haven’t you asked me to join you on this particular journey, Kate?”.
Let me explain a bit further:
I am currently internet dating – and yes – that may sound pretty innocuous. Internet dating doesn’t require too much Courage, right? Not for me. This is the exact situation where true vulnerability shows up in my world.
In my experience, vulnerability hasn’t come along for the coffee date, or even the second or third dates. It seems vulnerability doesn’t arrive on my scene until my guard starts to come down and I let myself truly be seen. This is normally when I feel a real connection with a person and acknowledge to myself that I like them. At this point, the level of fear I experience increases dramatically. The fear of being hurt; the fear of being rejected; the fear of not being enough. However for some reason, instead of calling on my old mate, I just wanted to run away and hide.
So back to the epiphany I had in the biscuit aisle of Woolworths. I realised that as a coach I talk about Courage a lot. If you are familiar with my social media or have read my blog in the past, you’d know I’m a huge fan of Courage. Yet there I was, not asking her for help when it was so obvious that I needed her more than ever. I seriously needed her friendship so much at that point… but I wasn’t asking.
Interesting!
You see, it is easy to have Courage in areas of our lives where there’s a degree of certainty. If we have enough evidence of success in the past then we can usually jump in to something with confidence and trust. Sure, Courage is still required, but she is far easier to summon.
I realised today that if I am to remain BFFs with Courage, I need to tap into her more resourcefully – in the one area that truly scares the shit out of me: relationships! It is easy to face off with fear when there is no wound. I recognised that the true test of my relationship with Courage is calling on her in spite of my past scars and wounds, and any baggage I carry because of them. I actually needed to find the courage to ask for Courage’s help with this one.
So, with my story in mind, I ask you:
Are you good friends with Courage? She really wants to help… all you need to do is ask.