Yet again, it comes back to Connection

Breakthrough to bold

Last Saturday, the amazing Vicki Hodgson and I ran our first Breakthrough to Bold Workshop and it was sensational!

There is nothing more inspiring than spending an afternoon with a group of people who want to learn and grow.  Not only inspiring, but also heart warming that everyone in the room supported each other, shared openly and made sure they had a damn good time.

We are always 100% responsible for our experience, why not make it a great one? This group certainly did!

One of the things I love about workshops is we never know who is going to attend and what value or little gem they will add to the group. This particular session was full of gold and I want to honour our very first group for that.

One of our participants asked a question around disconnection, why in this overly connected world are we so disconnected from each other?

Great question! And there is one answer that springs to the surface above all others and that is FEAR!

Fear of being seen

Fear of being judged

Fear of not being enough

Fear of getting hurt

Fear of being rejected

Fear of not belonging

and so the list goes on…….

The human spirit longs for true and authentic connection but like most things that are valuable, there is either hard work or risk associated with it.

Because we are now able to access so much low quality connection, I am seeing more and more people becoming confused on why they have this lingering sense of discontent and loneliness. I mean, it looks like they are connected, it feels like they have tons of people around them yet there is a void.

From the moment we wake up, we can surround ourselves with low quality connection. The TV goes on and those friendly faces from the morning show appear, you know the ones that you have been spending an hour with every morning for the last five years.

Over your morning cup of tea, you check your social media for your next dose of connection, FB, Insta, Snapchat and so on.  You see your friends from far and wide, you write some comments and like some things and send a bit of love out into the world.

Yet maybe, you have not yet genuinely connected with the person sitting across the breakfast table from you. Yes, there has been a “good morning” and a quick kiss on the cheek, but is that real connection?

Have you looked into their eyes?

Have you hugged them for more than ten seconds?

Have you taken the time to really listen to what they are saying to you?

You leave the house to walk to the bus stop and see your neighbour. No time to stop, they can just have a wave but don’t break your stride, you have to go!

You arrive at work and as always, there is a lot to do.  It is one of your colleagues birthday’s today and a lunch at the local cafe has been organised.  You consider going for a moment but really, you just want to get everything crossed off the task list before you leave at the end of the day.

You get the picture……

Real, authentic connection, open hearted connection takes time and energy.

On top of that, it requires vulnerability.

Back in the village, we would gather at the well and talk while the water was collected. We would take care of each others children and our front doors were always open. We would come together as a community and build houses for each other over the course of a few days. We would have multigenerational gatherings and (I wrote blog on this a few months ago) sing and dance together.

But this is not the world we live in anymore.

The water comes from the tap and the front door is locked.

I lovingly challenge you to take some time out of your day and have a moment of heart felt connection with another human.  Maybe it will be with the lady at the shop or your partner. Maybe it will be with a friend you haven’t chatted to in a while.

Maybe it will be with yourself…

These are the moments that will change the direction of your life.

Love Kate-3

 

The Universe only knows YES!

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Last year I employed a new coach. Her name is Alex Tripod.

I met Alex at a workshop and she was fierce! She held her space strongly and was very comfortable telling the group how things should be run. Alex was very visible in the room – both visually and energetically.

I admired her for this! In fact, as I watched her over the course of the three days, I thought “I could learn some excellent skills around presence, power and visibility from this lady!”.

Alex is a manifesting coach and during our time together she taught me many great lessons and skills, and really held the space for me to step up and shine. Because of her, I started this blog, as well as the Facebook Friday series. I actually started to let the world see me!

I didn’t realise just how invisible I had been! I was playing small so I could feel safe….

But life is not about safety, it’s about growth and expansion.

Anyway, over the weekend I was with my nieces and I found myself sharing some of Alex’s wisdom with them. The key piece that I wanted them to grasp is The Universe only knows YES!

This one belief was a game changer for me! And I didn’t really grasp it until I was 40. Imagine the impact it could have on the lives of my two fifteen year olds nieces!

I had always understood the power of my thoughts and my beliefs but I hadn’t considered that the Universe will support me in whatever I choose to focus on.

Prior to this I hadn’t seen it as a collaboration. Not just a collaboration, but the fact the Universe is so willing to support me to create the life I focus on that it will ONLY say YES to me.

The way this works is very simple. The Universe says YES to whatever you put out there.

“People are always so kind” – the Universe, “YES” and shows me more kind people.

“People are always so cruel” – the Universe, “YES” and validates my belief with more examples of cruel people.

“Things always work out for me” – the Universe, “YES” and there is my car park at the front of the shopping centre.

“It is so difficult to succeed” – The Universe, “YES”, and provides me with more blocks just so I can be right.

Whatever we believe to be the true, the Universe will support it and bring us more evidence of it. We are constantly creating our own reality in our minds and then finding it in the outside world.

There are infinite possibilities and as we put our focus on one, the others disappear and our reality is formed.

The Universe wants us to have whatever we want to have, and what we want to have is whatever we focus on the most.

So where are you putting your focus?

On what you desire or what you want to avoid?

On what is working well for you or on what is broken and no longer useful?

On what is right for you or what is wrong for you?

Never forget how powerful you are and even more importantly never forget that the Universe is constantly working to prove you right.

Something to think about……

Love Kate-3

 

 

What if we are all equal?

 

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There is an Australian and an American sitting on a bench in the park. The Ranger of that park approaches the two men and says: “You on the left, you Aussie, you are alright. You can stay on the bench if you would like to but you, on the right, you have to go. Because you are American, you are worth less and therefore are not allowed to enjoy the same privileges as the man on the left. Get out of my park now”.

There is a man and a woman on a bus. The bus is getting full and people are starting to get hot. The bus driver gets up from his seat, walks down the aisle and points at the woman. “You” he says as he points, “You have to get off this bus. You are taking up a seat that a man could be sitting in and I won’t tolerate that. Leave now by your own doing, or I will drag you off this bus myself”.

There is an adult and a child walking down the road. They are both enjoying the day but get stopped by the mayor of the town. The mayor tells the child: “I am sick of all the problems you children cause, you make a mess, you don’t respect the rules and to be honest, you really do nothing to contribute to our town. As of today, I want you out of my town. You are no longer welcome here”.

There is a gay man and a lesbian in a bar. They happen to be sitting next to one another, both in their own thoughts enjoying a drink. The barman keeps staring at the gay man with a look of aggression in his eyes, he is telling himself a story and it is getting bigger and bigger by the minute. He eventually walks over and says to the man “Leave – I don’t like your sort in here. I think you are disgusting and I never should have served you in the first place”.

There is a dog and a cat in a garden, exploring and smelling the space. The lady who owns that garden comes out of her house and starts shouting at the dog: “Get out of my garden, you filthy animal! You are not welcome here, you make trouble and you are smelly, shoo will you”. She chases the dog out of the gate while continuing to yell abuse at it.

Equality, it’s an interesting conversation….

I wonder what would happen to the world if we were all REALLY equal?

Because currently we are not. These examples may seem harsh or unrealistic but somewhere in the world right now this is happening. People are being judged and discriminated against for their nationality, gender, sexual orientation and so on. People in wars are being saved (or not saved) because of the country they come from. Animals are being treated with regard to profit rather than spirit, and there is a lot of suffering in world because of it.

From the reading I have done around this topic, we have definitely come along way, a very long way!

Especially in regards of gender discrimination. Fiona Paps wrote a great article for the British Council listing the many changes around equality that women across the world have experienced over the last 80 years. I mean, 80 years ago this was a brand new concept!! Times have definitely changed in this area. Everything from women being allowed to vote, to the New Zealand Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern giving birth while in office just last month. And she is unmarried!!

For the animals – especially in the food production industry – there have also been great improvements. Many consumers are no longer okay with animals being treated poorly and living in squalid conditions. Animal Equality in the UK is working hard to get Britain to become Foie Gras free over the next couple of years and the rise of Veganism is feedback that animal equality is definitely on the table. Again, there is still SUCH a long way to go but I am hopeful.

My question for you is: how can we speed up this process of equality?

What would the world be like if we were all equal right now?

Something to think about….

 

Love Kate-3

 

 

 

Breakthrough to Bold

Kate Mon 1

I remember a time when I just wouldn’t make a decision for fear of getting it wrong.

I was going through a series of challenges: my marriage was in a terrible state, my health wasn’t great and I was confused about what direction to take. I felt almost paralysed and I was incredibly frustrated at life – and at myself!

I was also very scared.

Scared because I didn’t want to get it wrong, scared because what happens if what I choose to do make things worse, and scared because I had not yet learnt to back myself fully.

I knew I should have been taking some action, ANY action, but instead I was looping around the same bad habits over and over again. The rut I was making was deep!

I was stuck.

Then one day, I was reading an article about Oprah. I love Oprah, she is such an empowered and courageous woman, and she was quoted as saying “Nothing happens until you decide. Make a decision and watch your life move forward”.

Make a decision, just one, and see what happens…….

And in that moment I decided, enough was enough. I had to choose me, and so began the journey into creating a life that excites and inspires me.

My breakthrough moment had occurred.

I remember the first few months of that journey was incredibly turbulent: a sense of true power – then crashing down into total despair. Tears and fears were abundant, and it required a whole lot of trust in myself.

That was fourteen years ago.

One of the greatest learnings from that period of my life is that I need to create continual references on breaking through and stepping up. I realised that conditioning myself to make the big decisions, even in the face of fear would greatly serve me.

When I say “big decisions”, I mean those that are specific to each of us. The commonality though, is fear. Feeling the fear and doing it anyway, making the choice, stepping up, breaking through, and most importantly, in that moment having complete trust in yourself.

Since that time I have done many things that scare the bejesus out of me. I have travelled alone, jumped out of a plane, had some tough and frank conversations with people I no longer wanted in my life, walked on hot coals, swam with sharks, had colonic irrigations, shaved my mum’s head when she was dying of cancer, asked someone I don’t know on the street to buy me something (random I know!), enforced my boundaries even when I knew I would be punished for it, given my first speech to a crowd of 150 people, started a new career and loved unconditionally.

Breakthroughs are really simple, though often not easy. It all starts with you loving yourself. All the very best with your journey my lovely friend.

My gorgeous colleague Vicki Hodgson and I are conducting two workshops in Perth Western Australia called Breakthrough to Bold. If this blog resonates with you and you would like to start creating your own evidence of breaking through then come and join us for a fabulous afternoon. Click HERE to buy tickets 

Love Kate-3

 

Let go of the look

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How much money do you spend because of the belief that if it costs more, it must be better?

It will look better, it will feel better, it will be more valuable.

This was an interesting conversation I had with a very dear friend of mine recently when I visited her in her new home.  I complimented her on a beautiful bunch of roses that were the centre piece of her dining table and she smiled at me with a glint in her eye.

Recently we have both attended a Wealth course (the same course at different times)  and as a byproduct of the course, we have both been seriously evaluating how we spend our money.  We had already had numerous conversations about spending plans, saving plans and wealth creation strategies.

I asked her why she was smiling, “Today I had an ah ha moment, and I am loving it!” she replied

“I walked into the shop because I wanted to buy some flowers.  I love flowers and I regularly buy them to have at home.  There was lots of different bunches, some for $15 right through to $40.  Normally I would of bought a more expensive bunch and as I stood there looking at these flowers, I asked myself why. Why do I always buy the more expensive ones?”

I thought that was a great question.  As someone who is obsessed with self exploration as well as growth, I was curious to hear the answer.

My friend replied ” Because I had the money to buy the more expensive ones so therefore I did.  It literally came down to that. I thought that they looked better. In fact, to be honest, I thought I looked better buying them”

“After standing in the shop today and really looking at the flowers, I realised that the cheaper bunch was just as beautiful, just a bit smaller”

“In that moment, I realised that I waste so much money thinking about the “look” of things.  I realised that if  I made these little day to day spending decisions with my wealth creation strategies  in mind, how different would my finances look in 20 years time?” She said

Wow! If she had the money, she would spend it.  It was about the look of the flowers as opposed to the enjoyment. The perceived extra value of them because they cost more, interesting!! Yet how was this eroding her long term wealth?

I swiftly examined if this shows up in my life, and it does!  I went on to ask numerous others over the course of the next few days and it became apparent that this belief was playing out in many people’s lives.

We are spending money because of how the thing looks, not because of the pleasure it will bring us, not because it’s what we need or even want and certainly not because it will support us in building our future wealth.

My Girlfriend went on to explain that she has been “crunching her numbers”.  If she spends just $100 less per week, a couple of less coffees, slightly cheaper flowers, buys more from the supermarket on special and in bulk, cancels one magazine subscription and takes her lunch to work one day a week, and invests the $100 instead, it becomes A LOT of money!

In five years, with a return of 10% it’s just under $35,000. In ten years, it about $91,000. In 20 years it’s hundreds of thousands of dollars!

If someone said to me, “Are you okay with spending over three hundred thousand dollars on looking good?” I would laugh in that persons face and say that I don’t care what other people think but in actual fact, what my girlfriend did, was shine the light on the fact that maybe I do, more than what I realise!  I care about the look of things.

This conversation, as simple as it was, really got me thinking! So many of us are unconscious in how we spend yet would love to have financial freedom. We miss it, because its $5 here and $10 there but that all adds up.

The “look” is costing us! And costing way too much in the long term.

Something to think about, I hear you say.